DEAR ABBY: After 34 years of marriage, I realized that I must "earn the right" to have sex. This morning I agreed to go to a particular movie my wife wants me to see with her in exchange for sex.
I now recognize that this trading started years ago, and I just let it slide. But now I realize that what I call "trading for favors" has entered other aspects of our relationship: "Do this for me, and I'll do that for you."
I have a pretty thick skin, but more and more, I'm concluding this is a game that I'd rather not play. Can you give me any advice as to where we can go for help? I have no problem involving her in any solution. -- MUST EARN THE RIGHT
DEAR MUST EARN THE RIGHT: I agree that your wife must be a part of the solution to your problem. Because the old "pay for play" no longer suits you, the place to seek help would be the office of a licensed marriage counselor. I wish you luck, because decades-old dynamics can be hard to change.
"So if I go to this movie with you, we will have sex, but if I dont, then we wont? Am I understanding you correctly? "
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Maybe she just wants to go on dates with him, and he's too lazy or cheap or whatever to take her. He has the energy for sex, but not enough to work at the marriage? Either way, they need to communicate about this.
