DEAR MISS MANNERS: The customer ahead of me still had groceries to be rung up, so I waited until her order was clear before placing my items on the conveyor belt. When the cashier began ringing up my items, a woman behind me began pushing my cart against me in order to get her items on every last inch of the conveyor belt. Finally, I said two things to her: “Stop pushing this cart against me. You’re old enough to know basic courtesy.”
She didn’t reply, but the assault stopped. In the same situation, how would Miss Manners have reacted?
GENTLE READER: Your success does not deter Miss Manners from deploring the way you achieved it. If she were not terminally polite, she would say to you, “Stop pushing people around. You’re (presumably) old enough to know basic courtesy.”
But she would never do so. Responding with rudeness only doubles the amount of rudeness being practiced. Also, it rarely works, which is why Miss Manners is surprised that you were not then rammed by the cart. It shows that your attacker had a sense of decorum, and suggests that her offense was inadvertent.
At any rate, you should have treated it as such. “Excuse me, but your cart is pushing me,” would have allowed even a deliberately rude person to retreat without further rudeness.
I hate people that crowd me like that in grocery lines. But it happens. I don't think it's an intentional slight. I hate it when they hover over me when I'm inserting my credit card. One time someone was hovering so badly I asked if they wished to pay for my purchase. They gave me a weird look and I asked if there was anything he needed. Then he got the hint and took a step or two back. I didn't know whether he was trying to lift my credit card number or not. But it made me uneasy.
I think the LW was rude in her comment. A simple, "please, your cart is hurting me" would suffice.
Well, honestly some of these people need a good slap in the face. Yes, there is at times unintentional rudeness. But, now rudeness is overt so sometimes you have to tell them BACK OFF BEITCH!!
As a part-time cashier at one of the local grocery stores here, I could tell you some stories. I really don't encounter rude people much. People here are typically nice. But, there are times when a customer is unloading their cart, the belt is moving so I can ring them up but at the same time, the next person in line is already unloading their items without putting a divider stick in between. And even with the divider, it's still annoying because I have to stop the belt so the current customer can finish unloading their cart and I don't start ringing up the next customer's items. Most of the time I'm pretty good with not having an attitude towards the one infringing on the space of my current customer but once in a great while, I can't stand that the next customer is so self involved they just don't care and that's when I take their items with a divider stick and shove them farther down the belt towards them.
But, what REALLY gripes me as a cashier is when a customer is so in a hurry to unload their $400 order onto a belt that won't hold it, they stack the stuff so high that the minute the belt jerks forward everything falls all over the place. And then, they look at me like I did it on purpose! I'm sorry, you've been grocery shopping for years and years. If you don't know how the belt works that's not my issue. I usually just raise an eyebrow and start laughing.
I think the proper way to do it was the first comment with a please, and refraining from the manners lesson. "Stop pushing your cart against me, please."
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I've had to ask people to back off several times in the checkout line. One bitch kept doing it and I finally pushed it right back. Smiled. Oops My bad!
-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Sunday 11th of June 2017 12:34:11 PM
The rude customer kept pushing the LW's cart into the LW. Miss Manners didn't realize that distinction. I would have spoken up and asked her to stop push the cart into me, and if she didn't stop I would have gently pushed my cart back and secured it with my foot, I have had to do so in the past.
As for people hovering when you are using your credit or debit card, that has happened to me. I give the MM look and then block the card reader by placing my body in between stalker and the machine.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I've had this happen. I usually just tell them to quit it.
FNW - I've had that happen. The person admitted to wanting to look at my PIN and demanded I let her see it. She didn't like me laughing at her and fully blocking her view.
FS - Many times, I've had the person behind me start unloading their items before I've finished unloading mine. I'll tell them I'm not done and to please wait. If they don't, I'll use one arm to prevent the divider from moving forward (preventing their groceries from moving forward but not touching the belt so the belt can move) and unload with my other hand. I've had some people gather their stuff in a huff and stomp off to another lane.
I've never heard of waiting until the conveyor belt was completely empty before loading more stuff. That would take forever! Doesn't mean you have to push your way in, it just means the belt along with the person have started moving forward.
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Was it a bad day?
Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
I've had this happen. I usually just tell them to quit it.
FNW - I've had that happen. The person admitted to wanting to look at my PIN and demanded I let her see it. She didn't like me laughing at her and fully blocking her view.
FS - Many times, I've had the person behind me start unloading their items before I've finished unloading mine. I'll tell them I'm not done and to please wait. If they don't, I'll use one arm to prevent the divider from moving forward (preventing their groceries from moving forward but not touching the belt so the belt can move) and unload with my other hand. I've had some people gather their stuff in a huff and stomp off to another lane.
To me, waiting until someone finishes emptying their cart unto the belt as the cashier is scanning is just common courtesy. Then place a divider down and the next customer in line can then start unloading their cart onto the belt as it moves forward. What bothers me too is the second customer insists on unloading their whole cart on half the belt rather than waiting to place items on the belt as it moves. Instead, they stack their items and get pissy when the items fall when the belt moves. UGH.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I've never heard of waiting until the conveyor belt was completely empty before loading more stuff. That would take forever! Doesn't mean you have to push your way in, it just means the belt along with the person have started moving forward.
I wouldn't expect 'empty', but I think that I would wait until the person in front of me had unloaded. Then I put a thing there and keep unloading on the back end. That way, I'm also unloaded when the person in front of me is paying. I wouldn't start unloading when someone else does. THat would just be confusing and annoying.
I don't understand not wanting their groceries on the belt with yours if they use a divider. That seems oddly territorial to me. But they better not push me with my cart!
Leave your cart at the end of the belt while you are unloading. If they can't get close to the belt, they can't really do anything.
This is what a lot of my customers do. But, it's mostly due to the size of the carts being used now. They're much bigger than they were a couple of decades ago and much harder to reach into it to get everything out if you're in the beginning or middle of the belt so to speak. Aisles aren't wide enough for the cart and you to stand next to it to reach in.
Nope, self checkout will stop the rage. Bag boys don't control the unloading of the cart, just the loading.
Unloading was part of the service.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I've had this happen. I usually just tell them to quit it.
FNW - I've had that happen. The person admitted to wanting to look at my PIN and demanded I let her see it. She didn't like me laughing at her and fully blocking her view.
FS - Many times, I've had the person behind me start unloading their items before I've finished unloading mine. I'll tell them I'm not done and to please wait. If they don't, I'll use one arm to prevent the divider from moving forward (preventing their groceries from moving forward but not touching the belt so the belt can move) and unload with my other hand. I've had some people gather their stuff in a huff and stomp off to another lane.
To me, waiting until someone finishes emptying their cart unto the belt as the cashier is scanning is just common courtesy. Then place a divider down and the next customer in line can then start unloading their cart onto the belt as it moves forward. What bothers me too is the second customer insists on unloading their whole cart on half the belt rather than waiting to place items on the belt as it moves. Instead, they stack their items and get pissy when the items fall when the belt moves. UGH.
I hear ya. I don't care how many people's items are on the belt with mine. Never on my radar. But, if I haven't finished unloading my cart, I need that space and you (general) need to wait. I have a habit of putting the divider behind my items when I'm finished. That way, if someone else comes up, they don't have to reach for one.
I haven't seen much stacking of items in my area. At least, not so high that they fall over. I lay cereal boxes on their sides since I've noticed they fall over if upright.
I don't understand not wanting their groceries on the belt with yours if they use a divider. That seems oddly territorial to me. But they better not push me with my cart!
I had a lady a few months ago put a divider down and start putting her stuff on the belt before I was done unloading. She left me no more room to finish and when I looked at her, she told me "Don't you worry about what I'm doing back here". So I stood there and slowly handed the check out girl my items one at a time out of my cart.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I don't understand not wanting their groceries on the belt with yours if they use a divider. That seems oddly territorial to me. But they better not push me with my cart!
I had a lady a few months ago put a divider down and start putting her stuff on the belt before I was done unloading. She left me no more room to finish and when I looked at her, she told me "Don't you worry about what I'm doing back here". So I stood there and slowly handed the check out girl my items one at a time out of my cart.
Hahaha I had a couple of customers do that to me the other day. But, it was at my suggestion because someone did exactly what you said happened to you. So, with each item the customer handed me, we chatted a few minutes in between, drawing out the experience as much as we could. The customer behind her sure wasn't happy. Oh well . . .
I don't understand not wanting their groceries on the belt with yours if they use a divider. That seems oddly territorial to me. But they better not push me with my cart!
I had a lady a few months ago put a divider down and start putting her stuff on the belt before I was done unloading. She left me no more room to finish and when I looked at her, she told me "Don't you worry about what I'm doing back here". So I stood there and slowly handed the check out girl my items one at a time out of my cart.
Hahaha I had a couple of customers do that to me the other day. But, it was at my suggestion because someone did exactly what you said happened to you. So, with each item the customer handed me, we chatted a few minutes in between, drawing out the experience as much as we could. The customer behind her sure wasn't happy. Oh well . . .
I would love to have you as my cashier if this happened to me.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
The way I read this scenario is that the LW was
standing in front of her cart, and emptying it onto
the belt; the person next in line kept pushing LW's
cart into her. I think MM was slightly off the mark
on this one.
Some lady was pushing me with her cart trying to hurry me up in Walmart years ago. I was supposed to get $20 cash back with my debit card but she literally pushed me forward from being up my azz so the cashier closed her drawer without giving me my cash. I almost forgot but then back tracked a couple steps and reminded her.
Of course she had to get a cash count now as she knew I was right but it's a policy
That pushy Chick had to wait even longer for the manager to count the drawer
I didn't mind waiting. I said loudly perhaps if I hadn't been pushed up through the line with a cart this wouldn't have happened. The cashier was like Right????
Ugh, I was the only person at the deli counter. Getting turkey and cheese. This old fart is just ramming me with the cart. I f*cking grab the cart look at him and say, 'Don't do it again.' Then shove the cart at him. I thought the deli girl was going to fall over laughing.
Ugh, I was the only person at the deli counter. Getting turkey and cheese. This old fart is just ramming me with the cart. I f*cking grab the cart look at him and say, 'Don't do it again.' Then shove the cart at him. I thought the deli girl was going to fall over laughing.
I've had someone try and push me with their cart a few times, I just placed my foot on the bar in front of their cart and continued writing my check. They couldn't push it at me anymore.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I would love to have you as my cashier if this happened to me.
But I like it!
