So many stories, threads, about putting blame for one's actions on someone else.
Seems there is an excuse for everything and it's always someone else's fault.
Got me thinking, why?
How do we, in general, blame another for our choices, actions, or lack there of?
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Wheni see 40 yr olds still blaming their patents for their crappy life, that's absurd. If u are 18 and your life sucks, then maybe u can blame your parents. If u are 40 and your life sucks, that's on you.
It's funny because my dad instilled in me how important it is to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Come to find out as I get older that he blames all his hardships o on other people, mainly his children.
Classic case of do as I say, not as I do.
__________________
Was it a bad day?
Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
For example, when I went nuts and broke the law, everyone wanted me to point blame at the guy I was with.
The lawyer, my mom, even the officers were trying to get me to blame everything on the guy.
But it wasn't all him. He did his part. But I did mine.
I had chances every day to stop what I was doing.
I made choices.
I had to live with the consequences of those choices.
And let me tell you, there were moments, I wasn't sure I'd see the next day.
So, why is it so easy for people to blame others for the choices they make?
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
In my younger days I did some really dumb stuff while I was drunk or high. I was still always in control of what I did. I may have been less inhibited but I knew what I was doing and was still responsible for my actions.
Well. It isn't always easy to look at yourself in the mirror.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
When people accept responsibility for their behavior, or wrong-doings, it generally means they have to do something about it to change it. Most would rather not. Introspection is not for the faint of heart. It's so much easier to ignore or blame than it is to see and change. And as a society on the whole, we've been neglectful in holding each other's feet to the fire, so to speak. We accept, turn a blind eye and move on . . . unfortunately. The cycle now will be hard to break.
-- Edited by Forever Sunshine on Sunday 18th of June 2017 01:49:02 AM
In my younger days I did some really dumb stuff while I was drunk or high. I was still always in control of what I did. I may have been less inhibited but I knew what I was doing and was still responsible for my actions.
I made a lot of bad choices about 10 years ago. Well, I guess years of bad choices ended about that time. I did a lot of damage in that period that I have had to dig myself out from under - in fact, I will be likely doing that financially for the rest of my future life, unless something changes drastically. I don't blame the way I was back then, or any extraneous factors. I made stupid choices. Now I live with the outcomes and the parts that aren't fixed yet.
I know what you mean Tig. I too made some bad choices. But you're on the right track now!
What drives me insane are people who think everything HAPPENS to them. They refuse to see the cause and effect of their choices. And they get very angry when you call them on it. Too bad so sad they can get glad in the same pants they got mad in.
I made a ton of bad choices in early adulthood. It really set me back. But it also taught me. When I was finally ready I put on my big girl panties and straightened my life out. And today I live comfortably, not just in a financial sense but also liking my job having some good friends and two wonderful children. And yes, finances is a big part of the result of digging my self out of a black hole. And I should be able to retire comfortably and if I were to pass before retirement my kids will have a nice inheritance, although controlled by a trust.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I made bad choices in men in my past and it cost me financially and emotionally. It took a lot of soul searching (as to why I chose those men) and a move across the country (to improve my financial status) but it made me who I am today and I learned to live without regrets.
at some point, you have to learn to forgive yourself--until you can do that it's very difficult to be happy in this life--forgiving others is challenging but found that forgiving myself for some of the things have done is much more difficult(if not, at least for some of those things, impossible)
__________________
" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke
I will tell you that I have done some things in my past I am not proud of. Some pretty bad. But the ones that knocked me the lowest, I prayed desperately for forgiveness, and I physically felt God answer that prayer and lift that burden from my shoulders.
If God will forgive what you have done - who are you not to forgive yourself?
Give it to God and move on.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Forgiveness comes after realizing you've done something wrong and you don't blame anyone else for it.
I don't see very much, if any, personal responsibility these days.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I will tell you that I have done some things in my past I am not proud of. Some pretty bad. But the ones that knocked me the lowest, I prayed desperately for forgiveness, and I physically felt God answer that prayer and lift that burden from my shoulders.
If God will forgive what you have done - who are you not to forgive yourself?
Give it to God and move on.
Like like like like!
__________________
Was it a bad day?
Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
The woman you gave me enticed me to eat the apple.
- Lady Gaga Snerd
___________________________________
That's what it always boils down to, isn't it. It's all Eve's fault.
Kidding.
We have, as a society, lost our way. It wasn't that long ago that when someone screwed up, he or she would walk right up to the person that they wronged admit fault, and then (this is what astonishes kids these days) ask how they could rectify the situation. Ask how could they make it up to the other person.
Now you can have a video recording of someone doing something and they'll tall you to your face "Nope. Wasn't me." or "Yeah, that's me, but it's not my fault, I had a crappy childhood"
If we could take the advancements of society while leaving the steps we've taken backwards here, I'd be happy to go back to the 40's or 50's. A handshake was worth more to a person than a signed piece of paper and people took pride in their actions as well as responsibility.
I remember watching the news in Japan 14 years ago when I was there. Someone committed a crime, and the sentence was to apologize. My friend and I laughed, but apparently that's a big deal in Japanese culture. Apparently it is here, too, because it's not done often enough.
A handshake was worth more to a person than a signed piece of paper and people took pride in their actions as well as responsibility.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
the most important and profitable business deals have ever sealed in this life were done with a handshake--the principals(myself included)shook hands and gave their word--that was it--the paperwork, " the lawyer bullchit ", was secondary and incidental after the fact--we've all been conned into believing that lawyers are essential to any transaction in this life--simply not the case--among honorable men(and women), at least around here, a handshake and your word will suffice
__________________
" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke
I think it is really sad. Now it's like "oh i didn't mean it, or now my word doesn't apply or there are extenuating circumstances', etc. That is why LL will never ever run out of business!
I think it is really sad. Now it's like "oh i didn't mean it, or now my word doesn't apply or there are extenuating circumstances', etc. That is why LL will never ever run out of business!
Right? What the heck happened to this Country? rhetorical, i know the answer.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.