TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

RE: Dear Abby: Twins on the Way, No Ring from BF

Forever Sunshine · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Forever Sunshine wrote:
Lindley wrote:
The marriage contract will at least give you some legal protection when it comes to children and property.

A certificate is so much more then a piece of paper. It represents vow you make to each other to love, honor in sickness and in health. It is a promise that is made to each other before God, state, family and friends.

Oh I get what you and everyone else is saying. However, people can and do make that same vow and promise with family and friends in attendance without the piece of paper from the state or church. It doesn't make their union less than.
It's not the same vow. That's nice that they stayed together, but they aren't married. Stop with the pretense.

Excuse me? Stop with what pretense, snicks? It absolutely IS the same vow! I'm sorry you don't see it that way but that's no excuse to tell me to stop anything.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

And a marriage is NOT "just a piece of paper". It's a legal contract. It provides legal protections that shacking up just doesn't do. A spouse cannot disinherit the other spouse - there are legal protections against it, a boyfriend could leave everything to his mother, and you would be SOL. Survivor benefits are higher when you are married b/c not only children receive them, but the SPOUSE caring for minor children receives them. If you haven't done the legal paperwork, a SO that is not a spouse will have no rights to health decisions for the other, or funeral arrangements, etc. And do we even need to mention the military benefits to a surviving SPOUSE?

If you love one another and are committed, you get MARRIED so the other person is legally protected.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Forever Sunshine wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Forever Sunshine wrote:
Lindley wrote:
The marriage contract will at least give you some legal protection when it comes to children and property.

A certificate is so much more then a piece of paper. It represents vow you make to each other to love, honor in sickness and in health. It is a promise that is made to each other before God, state, family and friends.

Oh I get what you and everyone else is saying. However, people can and do make that same vow and promise with family and friends in attendance without the piece of paper from the state or church. It doesn't make their union less than.
It's not the same vow. That's nice that they stayed together, but they aren't married. Stop with the pretense.
Excuse me? Stop with what pretense, snicks? It absolutely IS the same vow! I'm sorry you don't see it that way but that's no excuse to tell me to stop anything.

No, it's not. They are not willing to make it LEGAL.

Forever Sunshine · Guru

Legal or not, it doesn't negate the fact that it is a lovingly sustained, respectful relationship.

Anyway, since I was told to stop with the "pretense", I'll call it a day!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Except they don't care enough about each other or their kids to share their name in common?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

This is partly why the country is going to hell in a handbasket. Trying to say everything is the moral equivalent when in fact, it is not. Not shacking up isn't marriage. It never was and never will be even with all the pretending.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

From - http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/response-marriage-piece-paper-comment/

A piece of paper? Yes, an important one. Birth certificates are just a piece of paper–try to get a drivers’ license, a Social Security card or any other benefit without it. Pieces of paper ARE important. To demean marriage as “just a piece of paper” shows that you don’t know diddly about how important some pieces of paper are. Please educate yourself, my sister; you have a LOT to learn.

If your commitment to your “partner” and any children you might have is a strong, lasting one, why WOULDN’T you marry? (And if it isn’t why would you have children with a transient boo?) Why wouldn’t you want to be able to visit your partner in the hospital, help make treatment decisions and share in his health insurance and other work-related benefits for yourself and any children you might have?

Speaking of children, why wouldn’t you want your children to be born legitimate? Have the legal right to his share of any inheritances and benefits that might accrue to him? Have the unquestioned right to his support and assistance in their education and upbringing? Why would you deny them the same rights and privileges that other children born in wedlock have?

Why wouldn’t you ensure the property rights of both parties to the marital assets, particularly in the case of the untimely death of one partner? Why wouldn’t you want to be in a position to own your communal home without estate taxes, collect your partner’s life insurance, Social Security and have the benefit of your partner’s IRA, bank accounts and personal property (cars, ect.?) automatically come to you and your children?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If "it's just a piece of paper" and my love is too lazy to get that "easy, peasy nothing piece of paper", then maybe not such a great love.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

The only benefit I can see for a woman to have children out of wedlock is if she wants to get welfare.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Oh, i have seen people do that. Rather than dad assume responsibility, he let's the taxpayers pick up the tab for his kids.

Lindley · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Oh, i have seen people do that. Rather than dad assume responsibility, he let's the taxpayers pick up the tab for his kids.

I see that a lot and then the father leaves for a new partner.

Domestic Engineer · Guru

My aunt and her "husband" had a small ceremony and were "married", but they weren't. It was all a show for my grandmother. He always said he'd make sure she was taken care of. They had a long and wonderful life together. They traveled the world, had several homes, drove the finest cars and etc. She took such great care of him as the effects of diabetes look his legs and vision. Within days of his death, his children from his first marriage re-surfaced. They locked her out of the houses, repossessed her car and emptied the bank accounts. After a court order she was allowed to get her clothes and personal possessions from the house. That was it, she received nothing else. That missing little piece of paper meant she went from living a very comfortable life to living in a used rented trailer in a rough part of town. She regretted never actually marrying him.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

A friend of ours and his SO were together for over 20
years. When she went in for gall bladder surgery, he
was not allowed to participate in any medical decisions
for her. She has children and grandchildren from a
previous (ugly) marriage. Once she got home, they
went to a JP and tied the knot. At least now she is
protected if anything happens to him, and he can take
care of her in the way they have discussed. She never
worked, and therefore is not eligible for SS, but as a
widow she would be entitled to a portion of his SS and
pension, and their home and vehicles.