Dear Miss Manners: I have friends (a couple) who bring their dog with them everywhere, including to my house for dinner. On a few occasions, one half of the couple has “shared’’ some of the appetizers with their “best friend’’; the second time around, I commented.
The remark was met with a chilly response. I feel that they can do as they please in their own house with their own food, but at my house, it’s out of line and rude. They also let the dog out for potty breaks, which I’m left to clean up the following day.
Am I being defensive? It is, after all, my home, and I am paying out-of-pocket to entertain. We do have fun, but the hound wasn’t invited to dinner; they were.
Invoke the children-at-weddings rule: “Yours are so well-behaved, but then everyone would want to bring theirs, and I am afraid that we are not equipped to accommodate dogs.’’
Note that Miss Manners says nothing about the particulars of the dog’s behavior, the modifying of which is a losing battle. Much like the rule with children, better to make a blanket statement about their attendance and leave the specifics of how they are reared to their minders.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Something similar happened to my dad's cousin and his wife. They invited a couple to their house for dinner and not only brought the dog, but expected to let the dog eat with them at the table. Cousin told them that the dog had to eat on the porch. Well they said that they always eat with their dog, so my dad's cousin picked up their plates and set them on the porch with the dog. They got mad and left.
Yet another example of people who do not stop to think of others; simply exist in their own world. I agree with LL, simply stop inviting them. This sounds easy but I wonder what will happen when they question the cessation of invitations?? Sooner or later the OP will have to deal with the dog situation or possibly lose these friends... Miss Manners gives a great way to handle it....
People need to stop hoisting their pets on others. Even in my own house, when DH's brother comes to visit, she is afraid of dogs, so i put the dog in another room while they visit. She doesn't like dogs. She doesn't want a dog coming over to lick her, jump on her, etc. My dog is very well behaved and mannered but she just doesn't care to be around dogs. I mean, i could be like THIS IS MY HOUSE, kind of thing but I am happy to make her comfortable while she is here.
MS Manners advice won't fly. This couple would probably still bring their dog thinking their precious is exempt since so well behaved. That's how some owners think. Best is to simply not invite them anymore.
Waving at Karl!
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I don't care for dogs much either. When we had the family party at the beach house last October, my mother told everyone "no pets". She blamed it on the allergies. No one showed up with their dog. Not sure if they would have, but she told them anyway, JIC.
People are nuts these days with their pets. I see more outcry over animals than humans. Case in point is Harvey. More of my FB is cluttered with animal rescue than human rescue. It's insane. Posts about animals have more compassion than humans. While that might be true in some cases, perhaps we should, as a society, work on our own compassion rather than give praise to animals which are only compassionate because they don't have the ability to speak their minds and tell their owners to STFU when told to sit, lay down, or shake hands. Then again, from my own experience around the neighborhood, dog training seems to be a lost art or considered cruel. Rant done.
The fact that the owners let the dog's mess in their friend's yard for the friend to clean up the next day speaks volumes. Not a very responsible pet owner. If they had done that to me, when the dog's owner came back in, s/he'd been handed a bag and told, "Here ya go! Have fun cleaning it up!" For that reason alone, I would not invite them back for dinner.
Simple. Invite another couple as well. Tell
obnoxious "friend" an hour before they leave
home that Poochie will have to stay at home,
because other guests can't be around dogs.
That's not to say they are allergic to dogs,
just that they can't be around them.
Open your mouth and say, "hey, do not feed your dog at my table." Do not make it a discussion.
When they take the dog out, hand them a baggie with the directive to "clean up after fluffy, I'm tired of doing it." Again, do not make it a discussion.
Yes, we want our guests to be comfortable in our homes, but that doesn't mean they don't have to be good guests.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
