Dear Abby: My fiance and I are being married in a few days. We are expecting our first child a few days after that. The problem is my mother. We decided on a small ceremony, but my mother is opposed to the marriage because she doesn't like the idea of me marrying — not just my fiance, but anyone. She has always told me a man will leave me destitute, pregnant with too many kids, and I won't be able to take care of myself. She has repeated it since I was about 10.
Because she has threatened to object at the ceremony, we decided not to invite her. We have invited his parents and my father and stepmother. Mom has said she will not allow my child to see her grandfather because "he is a bad person." She may have good intentions, but dictating who can be around my child is not her choice, considering she has had little to no contact with him in 25 years.
I wish she could be at our wedding, but she has now distanced herself from me and my fiance. Should I let her cool off and hope she comes around, or accept that this is the path she has chosen? Please advise, Abby. — PROBLEM MOTHER IN KENTUCKY
Dear Problem Mother: Your mother may be anti-marriage because hers failed spectacularly. She appears to be a troubled woman. By all means, let her cool off, but do not allow her to dictate your life. If she does, her anger and bitterness could negatively affect your marriage.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I commend this woman for overcoming her mother's attempt to brainwash her against marriage and giving love a chance. Now she needs to go one with her life, and not expect a thing from mom. Perhaps she'll come around when she sees her daughter happy, perhaps she will just seethe with jealousy. Who knows. But daughter needs to focus on her new family and her new life and let mom do her own thing. Separately.
Maybe the ex was a class A dick. It's hard to get past that.
But to completely push your child away because of it is wrong.
LW is handling it well.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
