DEAR ABBY: I have been married for three years to a woman who is very beautiful inside and out. (We have been together for six years.) Recently, I found out she is addicted to pain meds -- and two months ago she confided that she had gotten hooked on heroin.
I set up an intervention to get her into rehab. But when the time came to go, she kept putting it off. She said she wanted to get high "one more time," so I told her OK, as long as she did it at home, so I'd know she was safe. After she injected herself, she went limp, so I called 911 and got her into the hospital.
It is now two months later, and she is back. I love her dearly, but I no longer desire to be intimate with her. How do I tell her I will always stand by her, but no longer want to be intimate? She's younger and still has a strong sex drive. -- LOST THAT PART IN THE EAST
DEAR LOST: The news should be conveyed in the office of a licensed marriage and family therapist. While your sexual problem may result from the shock of seeing your wife nearly die in front of you, there may be more to it. You say she is "younger and still has a strong sex drive." This suggests that you are older and your lack of desire might to some extent be age- or hormone-related.
The two of you have a lot of talking to do about your feelings and your future. It would be better if it's done with the help of a trained moderator.
Also, if your wife was sharing needles, you both need to be tested for any diseases she may have contracted.
OMG I read this just today. I get what he is feeling, he lost respect for her. I doubt this situation has anything to do with sex and strong or lack of desire. It has to do with someone who is weak and succumbed to drugs and has lost the respect of her husband.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
He gave her permission to get high. He's partly to blame for this. Perhaps he blames himself?
Either way, it's only been 2 months and he's ready to throw in the towel. I suspect there is more going on here than just watching his so called beloved go limp.
-- Edited by FNW on Saturday 30th of December 2017 06:38:59 PM
I can't blame him, but his wife obviously needs help and if she is wanting help he should do all he can which includes going to a family counselor to help her.
