DEAR ABBY: I suffer from a debilitating, rare, chronic illness. Two years ago, my parents convinced me to move across the country to live with them in a city I've never lived in. They promised it would be "only for a year," they'd pay the cost of moving and finance a "year of wellness." I was to receive acupuncture, massage therapy, physical therapy, help from doctors, a personal trainer, etc.
They paid to move me, but have not followed through with any of their promises to help treat my disorder. What's more, I have had to fit an entire apartment's worth of furniture and other items into a small bedroom, and I'm not allowed to use the rest of the house.
Now that I am here, I can't afford to pay to move back east or possibly find a place to live or work without being established in this new city. Is there a way to address the predicament I am now in and the fact that they relocated me without keeping their promises? I'm extremely shy and have made no friends in this town these past two years. -- DESPERATE DAUGHTER
DEAR DAUGHTER: You should not be isolated the way you are. And you need more help than I can give you in a letter. From your description, you are a prisoner in your parents' home. Contact your doctor back east about what has been going on. Of course, if you have friends there, you should alert them, too.
You will not get better living as you are. For your parents to have promised help and reneged is inexcusable. If there is an organization that supports your rare illness, it should be contacted too. Please do not wait.
I read this letter the other day, contemplating posting it . Such a control thing with the parents and they so need to pay for the daughter's expenses as agreed.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I wonder if the parents are using her for her disability checks, if she gets it, and there are a lot of other financial benefits.
Taxes, care giver, housing, welfare in general.
But, let's face it, this is an adult. She obviously has access to some way to communicate with the outside world.
Why is she not going to local law enforcement or DEFC?
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I wonder if the parents are using her for her disability checks, if she gets it, and there are a lot of other financial benefits.
Taxes, care giver, housing, welfare in general.
But, let's face it, this is an adult. She obviously has access to some way to communicate with the outside world.
Why is she not going to local law enforcement or DEFC?
Because they haven't committed a crime. They lied and failed to keep promises. She's not actually a prisoner, she just trusted her parents, and now has no money to move out - just like thousands of other kids living under their parents' roof.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Again. This is an adult. There are services out there.
Start with DEFC.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
If she is dependent on them then this can be a difficult situation. Is she on SSDI? If so, is it enough to get her own place and will she be able to manage living alone? Or, if doens't really have the funds to live on her and she leaves, where is she likely to end up then? Sometimes you go from the frying pan to the fire.
I don't know about the "year of wellness" . If she can get a personal trainer then is she able to get up and out on her own accord and go to a gym? She really has to decide does she want to take control of her own life? If so, she just has to do it. Tell them she they are not going to cash her SSDI checks or she will report them, etc. and then save money.
Not being able to use the rest of the house sounds quite odd and controlling.
