TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Don Jr To Divorce!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Five young children and you get a divorce. Selfish much?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

They have a bazillion dollars. Go get some marriage counseling. Maybe he needs to try staying home instead of running around hunting or whatever else he is doing.

FNW · Guru

Maybe she kicked him out? Either way, ideally it would seem to be better for all if they worked on their marriage, but who's to say they didn't already?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Well, it doesn't look like they made the announcement. It's gossip at this point. Mainstream media gone tabloid? We'll see.

FNW · Guru

I hope it's false. I hate seeing families split up.

Forever Sunshine · Guru

Given it's Don, Jr. I wouldn't be surprised with everything that's been going on with all of them. I'd like more details though. Now if it were Eric, I'd be surprised.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

No statement from the people involved,
so at this point I believe it is only rumor
mongering. Anything for the tabloids.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Papers filed yesterday.

FNW · Guru

Sad.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

In a statement obtained Thursday night, the couple said: "After 12 years of marriage, we have decided to go our separate ways. We will always have tremendous respect for each other and our families. We have five beautiful children together and they remain our top priority. We ask for your privacy during this time.”

If your kids were your top priority, you wouldn't be divorcing. Obviously, separating is your top priority.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

What LL said.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

just Czech wrote:
What LL said.

Yep. If no abuse is happening, you can stick it out for your children if you are respectful to each other. You chose to have children, you need to stick it out.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Children do not thrive in a hostile home.

If the parents do not want to be married, it's going to be evident to the kids. They will grow up knowing they are why their parents are not happy. That is not a beneficial situation.

Yes. The standard "put the kids first" is the usual go to, and in just about every circumstance, I agree. However, we are not privy to life inside their home. We do not know how long they've been trying to make things work. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your family, the only way to put the kids first, is to stop trying to keep a hostile home going.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

lilyofcourse wrote:
Children do not thrive in a hostile home.

If the parents do not want to be married, it's going to be evident to the kids. They will grow up knowing they are why their parents are not happy. That is not a beneficial situation.

Yes. The standard "put the kids first" is the usual go to, and in just about every circumstance, I agree. However, we are not privy to life inside their home. We do not know how long they've been trying to make things work. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your family, the only way to put the kids first, is to stop trying to keep a hostile home going.

Then don't make it a hostile home. Be grown ups. That's a rationalization for doing the selfish thing. "They will be better off in a home where the parents don't fight." How about - don't fight in front of the kids?

Unless there is abuse or cheating, you are getting a divorce because you want to. And quite frankly, that's a damn selfish reason. Because once you have kids, it's not all about you (general you). You CAN choose not to fight or be hostile.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Just because you don't fight, just playing nice and pleasant in front on the kids, isn't enough.

You could be the most pleasant people with each other.

But after a few years, you're going to begin resenting each other. That WILL spill over into the rest of the home no matter how well you think you are hiding it.

You're kids will grow up knowing their parents don't want to be together and the only reason they are still together is them, and the kids will know they're home life was a lie.

Look. I am not an advocate of divorce. I hate divorce. I wish divorce never happened.

But until a person has felt that death, and, yes, it is just like a death, they can't understand why it is, sometimes, necessary.

Those who say a person is selfish for divorcing, don't have a real clue what it is to live it.

Which is fine. I hope none of those saying it, never experience it.

But until you, general you, have walked in their shoes, you really don't know what you are talking about.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Marriage is not supposed to be an "until we can't get along" proposition. It's supposed to be for life. If people can't actually commit to that - at the very least, don't have children. If you even consider divorce as an option going into it - you shouldn't get married. It's a last resort for when circumstances require it - not an open door.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Marriage is not supposed to be an "until we can't get along" proposition. It's supposed to be for life. If people can't actually commit to that - at the very least, don't have children. If you even consider divorce as an option going into it - you shouldn't get married. It's a last resort for when circumstances require it - not an open door.

Yes, all of this.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

There are REASONS to get a divorce, but those reasons don't result in an amicable divorce. And this one looks pretty damn amicable.

Forever Sunshine · Guru

Wow!

Domestic Engineer · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Just because you don't fight, just playing nice and pleasant in front on the kids, isn't enough.

You could be the most pleasant people with each other.

But after a few years, you're going to begin resenting each other. That WILL spill over into the rest of the home no matter how well you think you are hiding it.

You're kids will grow up knowing their parents don't want to be together and the only reason they are still together is them, and the kids will know they're home life was a lie.
Look. I am not an advocate of divorce. I hate divorce. I wish divorce never happened.
But until a person has felt that death, and, yes, it is just like a death, they can't understand why it is, sometimes, necessary.
Those who say a person is selfish for divorcing, don't have a real clue what it is to live it.
Which is fine. I hope none of those saying it, never experience it.
But until you, general you, have walked in their shoes, you really don't know what you are talking about.

So the kids grow up knowing that the parents that created them, loved the enough to put their differences aside and raise the children in an intact family unit. Who knows, along the way, mom and dad might discover they actually love each other again.

Forever Sunshine · Guru

Or not!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Again, I am not pro divorce. I strongly believe, with all my heart and soul, that divorce should be the absolute, very last thing done.

But.

I know that it isn't as cut and dry as those on the outside might want to think it is.

It's like a limb on the body that is full of infection. You do everything, and I mean everything, to try to save it. However, there can be times when that limb threatens the life of the person. So. After doing everything and anything trying to save that limb, you realize it truly is for the best to amputate that limb.

A marriage that is not working, no matter what you try, will cause the entire family to die.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And then, there is the fact that BOTH have to want to make it work.

Cause no matter how much you will it, beg, try everything, and fight to stay married, it only takes one to file the papers.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

There are 5 kids. Put your selfish selves aside and make it work.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

lilyofcourse wrote:
And then, there is the fact that BOTH have to want to make it work.

Cause no matter how much you will it, beg, try everything, and fight to stay married, it only takes one to file the papers.

That's true. It could be a case of one wants out and the other is wanting to work on it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There are 5 kids. Put your selfish selves aside and make it work.

Again, coming from someone who hasn't had first hand experience.

It's nice to have inside information on what they've done to make their marriage work.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Ok lol. You make plenty of judgments about all kinds of things.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

It's funny how whenever someone posts a dear Abby about someone going through relationship problems it's almost unanimous here, leave leave leave! No questions asked. But when a headline pops up that no one knows anything about, let's condemn the couple!

What people do either way is their own business, and kids aren't going to waste away to nothing. Human beings are surprisingly resilient.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well that is the point of these threads lol. To run our mouths and blather.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Well that is the point of these threads lol. To run our mouths and blather.

YEP.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Who even knows if these uber rich actually do anything to raise their kids anyway? With nannies, butlers, maids, chefs, private tutors and on and on.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There are 5 kids. Put your selfish selves aside and make it work.
Again, coming from someone who hasn't had first hand experience.
It's nice to have inside information on what they've done to make their marriage work.

You don't really know what experiences I have had in my life. But, of course both parties have to make the effort. I have some friends who are divorced and one tried mightly but the other turned into an ass and you can't do much with that. However, the one who turned into an ass needs to unturn for the benefit of their children!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Took you 21 hours to come up with a friend story.

Here's the truth.

No. I do not know the relationship you have with your husband.

It could be rainbows and roses. A regular love fest where everything is perfect and all problems are solved in less than 30 minutes.

Or you could be sleeping in separate rooms, can't stand the sight of each other, are so busy doing things out in the community just so you don't have to be in the same room together.

All I know is what you present.

That is true for every single marriage in the world.

You don't know, so calling someone selfish when you do not have first hand, in their shoes, in their life, experience, is, well, wrong.

The experience you have presented with your marriage is that you are married, but you rarely mention your husband. You talk about your daughter more than your boys. I could conclude that you are separated and your daughter lives with you, the boys are out of the house.

Or I could not make assumptions based solely on the things you've posted and leave you to live your life and not project I think or how I feel onto you.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

21 hours? Um....i have been out of town this weekend with DDs AAU team and have other things to do. Funny but u want patted on the back for your life choices but have no qualms to slam others . uh huh

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

No i am not separated. I spend more time with DD. My oldest is in the Air Force and my younger son is in college and working a lot. Dh and I coach bball together and are bball freaks and we are all together this weekend watching her play and hanging out. Funny but now u want to infer my something about my marriage which I wasnt even talking about. You are quite judgy dear. Own it and then t
ke it when it comes back to you.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Interesting that you seem to make these threads personal.

-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Sunday 18th of March 2018 02:17:33 PM

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I was simply pointing out how those not directly involved don't have a clue what is going on in another's marriage.

You proved my point.

If a couple is divorcing, they may very well be the two most selfish people on earth, then again, they may be completely miserable, have tried everything under the sun, and are doing the best they can to keep their family as healthy as possible.

Staying married does not mean better. As much as they and every one around them want to believe, sometimes, it just isnt.

And what is with the contempt for the rich? It's not just you, I've seen it on other boards from others, and in real life. Being rich is not a magic bullet. They have issues just like everyone else.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Contempt for the rich? Uh...ok. Oh better keep track of my hours and min between posts!! lol

jlbear71 · Guru

As a child of parents who stayed together for the children, I wish my parents had divorced. I was even told around age 12 that I would have to choose who I wanted to live with. Let me tell you, it was hell for me with my parents in that respect. They stopped doing anything together. They would argue occasionally. But as their child, I was not privvy to the reasons of either why they stayed together or why they never divorced.

But their marriage was not a marriage for many years for many reasons.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

jlbear71 wrote:
As a child of parents who stayed together for the children, I wish my parents had divorced. I was even told around age 12 that I would have to choose who I wanted to live with. Let me tell you, it was hell for me with my parents in that respect. They stopped doing anything together. They would argue occasionally. But as their child, I was not privvy to the reasons of either why they stayed together or why they never divorced.

But their marriage was not a marriage for many years for many reasons.

This is what I was saying.

"For the kids" is a very noble notion, but it isn't always the best thing for the kids.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There are 5 kids. Put your selfish selves aside and make it work.
Again, coming from someone who hasn't had first hand experience.
It's nice to have inside information on what they've done to make their marriage work.

She's been married a long time. I'm sure that it hasn't all been roses and sunshine through the years, but I'd say staying married even through the difficult times does mean she has first hand experience. The difference is in the choice to work on the marriage vs. end it.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lilly, every thread is not a commentary on you.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Thought we were talking about Don jr. Not sure how Lilly tosses my marriage into the mix, lol . I met DH when i was 17 and we have been together since. Going strong on 29 years this June.

Forever Sunshine · Guru

Clearly you missed the whole point and took it far too personal. The point was that just by what you post, since you never talk about DH, one could assume you were a single parent or separated or whatever. The point is that no one knows what really goes on in a marriage and behind closed doors.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Excuse me?? What utter bull****.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

You dont talk about anyone but youself so what should i "infer" about that? Guess you must be orphaned and friendless. Gawd how ridiculous.

-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Monday 19th of March 2018 10:50:39 AM

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

No. It isn't about me, or you. It's about not telling another person they are being selfish when you haven't walked in their shoes.

But, for fun, let's make it about me.

I'm divorced. There was no abuse. None. He cheated on me. Did I try to work through it? We were separated for a year, I started divorce proceedings, stopped them, legally for two, filed for divorce. I tried time, space, counseling, constant contact, work shops, prayer, everything I could think of. It was 3 years BEFORE I finally gave up. 3 years of hell.

But I still get told I was selfish for divorcing. That I should have "made it work" for the kids.

So, yeah, I do take it personally when someone stands on the outside telling another what they should or should not do.

You don't know what you are talking about and you should keep your damn mouth shut!

Forever Sunshine · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
You dont talk about anyone but youself so what should i "infer" about that? Guess you must be orphaned and friendless. Gawd how ridiculous.

-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Monday 19th of March 2018 10:50:39 AM

That's actually not true at all. I talk about my grands all the time and friends I do things with. Perhaps maybe not on boards where you are because of how you then use information against others. So . . . It's never been a secret that I'm divorced and love it. I guess you weren't paying attention when I talked about raising my DS as a single parent in another thread here.

But you never talk about your DH. NEVER

-- Edited by Forever Sunshine on Monday 19th of March 2018 11:06:47 AM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
No. It isn't about me, or you. It's about not telling another person they are being selfish when you haven't walked in their shoes.

But, for fun, let's make it about me.

I'm divorced. There was no abuse. None. He cheated on me. Did I try to work through it? We were separated for a year, I started divorce proceedings, stopped them, legally for two, filed for divorce. I tried time, space, counseling, constant contact, work shops, prayer, everything I could think of. It was 3 years BEFORE I finally gave up. 3 years of hell.
But I still get told I was selfish for divorcing. That I should have "made it work" for the kids.
So, yeah, I do take it personally when someone stands on the outside telling another what they should or should not do.
You don't know what you are talking about and you should keep your damn mouth shut!

I really don't want to make it about YOU. Sooo, not really interested. And, i will keep "my damn mouth shut" when you actualy DO? K?

TOTALLY GEEKED!

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