TOTALLY GEEKED!

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

RE: Thursday May 21th

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

lilyofcourse wrote:
I may be wrong, but I think she is talking about her first husband.

Yes. My first husband. He owes $60K in back child support. I don't make the rules. The government took it and gave it to me. If they want it back at some point they can take it back from what he owes me.

I buy stuff for my daughter all the time. I don't "screw her over". I don't ask her for one penny for the things I buy her.

I buy diapers for one of the daycare moms. She knows exactly what I do. She doesn't care. She buys all her diapers from us. I'm not getting rich on this. Geez, everyone knows and everyone is okay with it. Not sure where that hurts anyone.

Oh, and as far as DH we are currently separated. He is living with his gf that he met six months before we separated. We are working on a divorce.

Lindley · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I may be wrong, but I think she is talking about her first husband.

if he never paid her child support, I believe the stimu check goes to the custodial parent. Ok, saw that njn answered the question and njn, I’m so sorry to hear that

-- Edited by Lindley on Thursday 21st of May 2020 11:31:10 PM

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lindley wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I may be wrong, but I think she is talking about her first husband.
if he never paid her child support, I believe the stimu check goes to the custodial parent. Ok, saw that njn answered the question and njn, I’m so sorry to hear that

-- Edited by Lindley on Thursday 21st of May 2020 11:31:10 PM

well there are two types of stimulus, one for minors and one for adults. Not sure if stimulus can be taken to pay restitution, I believe that varies by which state one resides in.

FNW · Guru

Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you were making a buck or two off your daughter or DIL. Also sorry to hear about your DH. I'm not sure you should be cashing a check made out to your ex, however.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

FNW wrote:
Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you were making a buck or two off your daughter or DIL. Also sorry to hear about your DH. I'm not sure you should be cashing a check made out to your ex, however.

Well it could be that it was taken for owed child support and the payment was no longer stimulus. That makes sense.

-- Edited by I know what to do_sometimes on Friday 22nd of May 2020 08:50:11 AM

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I didn't cash a check. The state deposited $800 of his check in my account. I imagine that they kept the four hundred that is left over for the money he owes them. The state charges the non custodial parent every time they have to take them to court. We had many court dates over the years. 99% of them he didn't show up for. He still gets charged even if he doesn't show because the state has to send someone out. I did nothing illegal. If they want their money back they can take it from his disability payments. Yes, I get half of his disability. No, I don't care. Yes, it's 100% legal. The state can take up to 55% of any government check you get. Yes, I did my research. No, I don't care and am not going to be guilted by anything anyone says. He should have paid his child support. When you wait till your youngest child is 21 to start paying this kind of stuff is going to happen.

I've never made a buck off my daughter. I struggled as a young mother and only want what's best for them. Whenever I get some extra cash I buy things they've had their eye on. Baby already has quite a wardrobe. I've been buying diapers since I found out she was pregnant. I don't have tons of them. Probably ten cases or so along with a few cases of wipes. Sounds like a lot but babies go through diapers at a crazy pace. Having the daycare I've used all the brands of diapers and know which ones I like best. So we buy a lot of Pampers. They also send out a lot of coupons which makes it easy to buy cheap. Target will let you stack coupons also. You can use a manufacturers coupon, a store coupon, and your ten percent off for being a member. You can also sometimes get a gift card for buying XXX numbers of diapers. We watch the sales and buy accordingly. I do scan all the Pampers points though. I've earned a few free bags of diapers doing this.

I'm extremely sad about my marriage. Eleven years down the drain. That's a lot of time to have invested and thrown away. But as I said he met someone while we were still married and moved out to be with her. What's done is done. I mourned and now is the time to pick myself up and move on.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

NJN ~
You are a strong woman, and you
enable other women to work in
their chosen careers. You saw an
opportunity to stock up on some
everyday items, and have them
when they were otherwise in
short supply. Good thinking.

I hope that when (if) you are
ready, you meet someone who
values you for the wonderful
woman you are.

Hugs
Momala

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

94785856_1364846060389024_76327784655439

Thoughts?

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Ooops. Wrong thread. Want your opinions anyways!

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

Tig ~
It looks like it would be very
uncomfortable for a short
person - too deep, with no
back support. Also very
low to the ground.

Sorry.

FNW · Guru

It does look very short to the ground.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

It looks dirty and used. Way too low to the ground. As someone with bad knees, I'd never attempt to sit on that, I'd never be able to get up.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Love the floors, look like my second floor Hardwoods. Yeah sofa looks a bit dirty. Can you get a nice white slip cover and throw pillows?

TrudyML · Guru

No. Just no.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I didn't cash a check. The state deposited $800 of his check in my account. I imagine that they kept the four hundred that is left over for the money he owes them. The state charges the non custodial parent every time they have to take them to court. We had many court dates over the years. 99% of them he didn't show up for. He still gets charged even if he doesn't show because the state has to send someone out. I did nothing illegal. If they want their money back they can take it from his disability payments. Yes, I get half of his disability. No, I don't care. Yes, it's 100% legal. The state can take up to 55% of any government check you get. Yes, I did my research. No, I don't care and am not going to be guilted by anything anyone says. He should have paid his child support. When you wait till your youngest child is 21 to start paying this kind of stuff is going to happen.

I've never made a buck off my daughter. I struggled as a young mother and only want what's best for them. Whenever I get some extra cash I buy things they've had their eye on. Baby already has quite a wardrobe. I've been buying diapers since I found out she was pregnant. I don't have tons of them. Probably ten cases or so along with a few cases of wipes. Sounds like a lot but babies go through diapers at a crazy pace. Having the daycare I've used all the brands of diapers and know which ones I like best. So we buy a lot of Pampers. They also send out a lot of coupons which makes it easy to buy cheap. Target will let you stack coupons also. You can use a manufacturers coupon, a store coupon, and your ten percent off for being a member. You can also sometimes get a gift card for buying XXX numbers of diapers. We watch the sales and buy accordingly. I do scan all the Pampers points though. I've earned a few free bags of diapers doing this.

I'm extremely sad about my marriage. Eleven years down the drain. That's a lot of time to have invested and thrown away. But as I said he met someone while we were still married and moved out to be with her. What's done is done. I mourned and now is the time to pick myself up and move on.

I'm so sad, to hear this.

But, you have a great attitude. smile

Pick yourself up, and carry on!

I know you'll love being a Grandma. And, that's a huge, fun time! You will have a blast! smile

Hoping for the best!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

That couch is so so low to the ground. I have bad knees too and I'd never be able to get up.

Thank you Momala and FWM. I try to shop sales and deals. We go through massive amounts of paint here. We're always doing crafts. And play dough. Lots and lots of play dough. I swear I love Amazon.

It's very sad my marriage ended. I was so sure I had met the "forever" person. I begged for counseling and working it out but he said he already had someone and was moving on. There may be something brewing on the romantic front but I'm not ready to talk about it.

Lindley · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I didn't cash a check. The state deposited $800 of his check in my account. I imagine that they kept the four hundred that is left over for the money he owes them. The state charges the non custodial parent every time they have to take them to court. We had many court dates over the years. 99% of them he didn't show up for. He still gets charged even if he doesn't show because the state has to send someone out. I did nothing illegal. If they want their money back they can take it from his disability payments. Yes, I get half of his disability. No, I don't care. Yes, it's 100% legal. The state can take up to 55% of any government check you get. Yes, I did my research. No, I don't care and am not going to be guilted by anything anyone says. He should have paid his child support. When you wait till your youngest child is 21 to start paying this kind of stuff is going to happen.

I've never made a buck off my daughter. I struggled as a young mother and only want what's best for them. Whenever I get some extra cash I buy things they've had their eye on. Baby already has quite a wardrobe. I've been buying diapers since I found out she was pregnant. I don't have tons of them. Probably ten cases or so along with a few cases of wipes. Sounds like a lot but babies go through diapers at a crazy pace. Having the daycare I've used all the brands of diapers and know which ones I like best. So we buy a lot of Pampers. They also send out a lot of coupons which makes it easy to buy cheap. Target will let you stack coupons also. You can use a manufacturers coupon, a store coupon, and your ten percent off for being a member. You can also sometimes get a gift card for buying XXX numbers of diapers. We watch the sales and buy accordingly. I do scan all the Pampers points though. I've earned a few free bags of diapers doing this.

I'm extremely sad about my marriage. Eleven years down the drain. That's a lot of time to have invested and thrown away. But as I said he met someone while we were still married and moved out to be with her. What's done is done. I mourned and now is the time to pick myself up and move on.

I am so sorr, I had a feeling, but wasn’t going to ask. Totally his loss

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lindley wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I didn't cash a check. The state deposited $800 of his check in my account. I imagine that they kept the four hundred that is left over for the money he owes them. The state charges the non custodial parent every time they have to take them to court. We had many court dates over the years. 99% of them he didn't show up for. He still gets charged even if he doesn't show because the state has to send someone out. I did nothing illegal. If they want their money back they can take it from his disability payments. Yes, I get half of his disability. No, I don't care. Yes, it's 100% legal. The state can take up to 55% of any government check you get. Yes, I did my research. No, I don't care and am not going to be guilted by anything anyone says. He should have paid his child support. When you wait till your youngest child is 21 to start paying this kind of stuff is going to happen.

I've never made a buck off my daughter. I struggled as a young mother and only want what's best for them. Whenever I get some extra cash I buy things they've had their eye on. Baby already has quite a wardrobe. I've been buying diapers since I found out she was pregnant. I don't have tons of them. Probably ten cases or so along with a few cases of wipes. Sounds like a lot but babies go through diapers at a crazy pace. Having the daycare I've used all the brands of diapers and know which ones I like best. So we buy a lot of Pampers. They also send out a lot of coupons which makes it easy to buy cheap. Target will let you stack coupons also. You can use a manufacturers coupon, a store coupon, and your ten percent off for being a member. You can also sometimes get a gift card for buying XXX numbers of diapers. We watch the sales and buy accordingly. I do scan all the Pampers points though. I've earned a few free bags of diapers doing this.

I'm extremely sad about my marriage. Eleven years down the drain. That's a lot of time to have invested and thrown away. But as I said he met someone while we were still married and moved out to be with her. What's done is done. I mourned and now is the time to pick myself up and move on.
I am so sorr, I had a feeling, but wasn’t going to ask. Totally his loss

Yeah well the whole situation was worded badly which is why many geeks ask questions and such.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

lilyofcourse wrote:
It looks dirty and used. Way too low to the ground. As someone with bad knees, I'd never attempt to sit on that, I'd never be able to get up.

It's not dirty - I checked. It's 'eggplant' and what you see are shadows. But, good reminder about the height.

FNW · Guru

I would prefer something like leather that can be wiped down, especially these days.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I don't mind questions. I have no problem being honest about my situation. No one has said anything rude but I don't need any rude comments. It was a hard pill to swallow. He said I fall on purpose to get more attention from him and this was pretty much my fault. I forced him to find someone else.

FNW · Guru

You didn't force him to find someone else, that's a cop out on his part, IMO. It sounds as though he just didn't want to take care of you.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

FNW wrote:
You didn't force him to find someone else, that's a cop out on his part, IMO. It sounds as though he just didn't want to take care of you.

Well, he did complain about that. When I broke my arm there were literally months where I was down due to various surgeries. After it took months to get any movement back in my arm. I needed help showering for a long long time. My arm had to stay completely immobile for 8 weeks. We would tape it to an empty 2 liter soda bottle in the shower and I would hold the bottle against my side while he showered me. He said he got tired of working, coming home and helping with house stuff and dinner, and then worrying about taking care of me and also getting him ready for work. He said it was a drain on him. To be honest our marriage took a huge hit the year before when he took every penny we had in savings and invested it in a business I knew was on shaky ground. It's a long story but basically he took everything and gambled it without my consent or agreement. The business partner embezzled $300K from the business and we were left to file bankruptcy. Our marriage took a hard hit and truthfully I don't think we ever really made it through that. We had a lot of stress in our marriage but I thought we'd work through things. We always did. He said he just got tired of it all, all the responsibility and hard stuff and just had enough. It really wasn't what I wanted at all but it is what is. He's not coming back so now I pick up and move on. Ironically, I started the daycare because we had zero income and needed money. I've actually been very successful at it despite the odds. I love every minute of it but it is a lot of work.

Domestic Engineer · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I may be wrong, but I think she is talking about her first husband.
Yes. My first husband. He owes $60K in back child support. I don't make the rules. The government took it and gave it to me. If they want it back at some point they can take it back from what he owes me.
I buy stuff for my daughter all the time. I don't "screw her over". I don't ask her for one penny for the things I buy her.
I buy diapers for one of the daycare moms. She knows exactly what I do. She doesn't care. She buys all her diapers from us. I'm not getting rich on this. Geez, everyone knows and everyone is okay with it. Not sure where that hurts anyone.
Oh, and as far as DH we are currently separated. He is living with his gf that he met six months before we separated. We are working on a divorce.

I’m so sorry.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

What does this mean about DSS?

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Tignanello wrote:
What does this mean about DSS?

My SS? I'll assume you mean my step son. I have a good relationship with my husband's ex. We are not best of friends but I could call her if I needed to talk. We get along well. She told me I can see my SS any time I want providing they don't have something going on. I currently see him about one weekend a month. He still loves me and wants to spend time with me. He said he wants to spend some time with me during the summer. Believe it not that kid is 15 and half now! Holy rice cakes! He's getting ready to take drivers ed. So he's plenty old enough to make his own decisions about who he wants to spend time with. He still loves his dad but was really hurt by all this. His dad has forbidden him to talk about the divorce and/or how he feels about it. I talked to his mom and told her he most certainly was entitled to talk about his feelings and to do so didn't mean he was "meddling". She agreed. She's not happy with DH right now as he hasn't seen his son since we separated in February. I know they talk on the phone a lot. I'm so happy I still get to have him in my life. I had to break the separation news to him as his dad said he was just "going to let things play out and let him find out when he figured it out on his own". Dumb ass. Sorry, not sorry. Anyway, my relationship with him is alive and well. I try to call him pretty much every day. He's a stanky teenage boy now. They are a breed of their own.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Yeah, I meant SS. I'm glad you get to continue your relationship with him. It also sounds like you have a much better relationship with ex than you did before.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

Tig ~
Regarding the sofa. Ask a
couple of your short friends
(5' or less) to sit in the sofa.
If they are comfortable, it
is a good buy. Taller people
can slouch in a larger sofa,
but short people will be
very uncomfortable.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

NJN I’m glad SS can still be a part of your life. ❤️

chef · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I don't mind questions. I have no problem being honest about my situation. No one has said anything rude but I don't need any rude comments. It was a hard pill to swallow. He said I fall on purpose to get more attention from him and this was pretty much my fault. I forced him to find someone else.

Spork him. Hard. With a flaming hot steel spork.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Momala wrote:

Tig ~
Regarding the sofa. Ask a
couple of your short friends
(5' or less) to sit in the sofa.
If they are comfortable, it
is a good buy. Taller people
can slouch in a larger sofa,
but short people will be
very uncomfortable.

Or have your taller friends sit on it to see it is comfortable, shorter people can climb. 🤨

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

I'm asking all my clients today if the one that I'm using right now is too high or too low. Majority rules! I have people of all shapes and sizes today.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Good idea. I'm doing tele therapy right now but we used to see him as a couple and I hate his sofa because you sink way down into it. It's hell getting out.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I know the point is to create a comfortable space condusive to talking, but I think I'd rather have a kitchen type setting. A comfortable table and chairs, a cup of tea and a relaxed atmosphere.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Would a side table work? I have the chairs, atmosphere and tea available. :D

Lindley · Guru

It would be nice to have someplace to set your tea

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Sure. Think cozy corner perfect for dishing your darkest secrets to your best friend.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Lindley wrote:
It would be nice to have someplace to set your tea

And a little garbage can for the tissues...

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Yep I am sure a garbage pail for tissues should be number one concern, not kidding.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Yep I am sure a garbage pail for tissues should be number one concern, not kidding.

There will be at least 2. One of my colleagues didn't have one and told her clients to take their garbage with them. Can you imagine walking out of your counselling session with your wet soggy tissues?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Get one of those table like they have at seafood restaurants. The ones with the hole in the middle for a bucket.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Get one of those table like they have at seafood restaurants. The ones with the hole in the middle for a bucket.

At the height and size I need it will look like a children's porta potty.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

LOL!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

A small trash can is a must. He has a couple small trash cans in his office. Our therapist offers you coffee or tea when you go in. He has a side table to put stuff on. He also has two chairs with a table in between. I like his set up. The chairs are higher but way across the room so I like sitting on the sofa closest to him. I don't know, just seems more like someone is listening when you're closer as opposed to sitting far away.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
A small trash can is a must. He has a couple small trash cans in his office. Our therapist offers you coffee or tea when you go in. He has a side table to put stuff on. He also has two chairs with a table in between. I like his set up. The chairs are higher but way across the room so I like sitting on the sofa closest to him. I don't know, just seems more like someone is listening when you're closer as opposed to sitting far away.

I won't have a tea set up, which sucks, but I can only afford a cold water system. I'm thinking that a little basket of Emergen-C would be cute.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Tignanello wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
A small trash can is a must. He has a couple small trash cans in his office. Our therapist offers you coffee or tea when you go in. He has a side table to put stuff on. He also has two chairs with a table in between. I like his set up. The chairs are higher but way across the room so I like sitting on the sofa closest to him. I don't know, just seems more like someone is listening when you're closer as opposed to sitting far away.
I won't have a tea set up, which sucks, but I can only afford a cold water system. I'm thinking that a little basket of Emergen-C would be cute.

Get an electric tea pot.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

You could check into a used Keurig and tea pot like Lily said. Here people sell their Keurigs used for $20. Probably get a nice tea pot cheap. Check your local pages. We buy our k-cups at Sam's for a reasonable price. Just my suggestion. Do what you feel comfortable doing.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Coffee & tea will be a bit of a logistical nightmare (regular water might be too) but I think I am going to get some of those flavor squirters and put those there.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Personally, I would rather have a soda.

You know, eventually, a mini fridge might be an idea.

In the very back could be the tiny Friday, it's 5 o'clock somewhere, adult beverage for end of the relaxing.