this is sunshine, Sasha, whatever other name I went by.
a lot of you remember me for better or for worse and I owe all of you an apology. I was very young when I found miss manners and processing trauma in a very unhealthy way. I existed in a fantasy because my reality was too painful. In my fantasy I made different decisions, had the things I wish I could have kept and got rid of things I didn’t want. But I hurt people that way. I preyed upon sympathies because I was hurting and alone. I didn’t know how to process things and how to ask for attention in healthy ways. I never intended to start out that way, catfishing attention and all that but I clung to it. Y’all didn’t deserve that.
I have done intensive therapy, medication after medication until I found what was right I have learned to process trauma and how to live in the present reality while being organically myself. i can never fully atone for what I’ve done and what I took from you. i can honestly say I’m happy and healthy and i feel mentally well. I hope you all are too.
on A side note, while looking to make amends with certain people I found Jana’s /jcountryman’s Facebook and learned she passed away from Covid in 2021. i thought those who knew her on miss manners may want to know.I tried to write this a couple years ago but I wasn’t ready, realizing Jana had passed motivated me to find you guys again and gave me the backbone to apologize like you deserve
if anyone knows lawyerlady can you also extend my apologies to her as well.
im sorry, I’m sorry you were all victim to my irresponsible and selfish coping methods and I hope there is some space in your hearts to forgive me but I’ll understand if there isn’t. I’m also open to answering any questions you may have.
-- Edited by Kijimi on Tuesday 29th of August 2023 09:06:42 PM
I remember you on the other board, I didn’t post to much, but I remember what went on.. It takes a lot of courage to face people you hurt and apologize and happy that you are in a healthy and better health. I’m so sorry to hear about jcountryman, it’s been so long since I’ve been on. My sympathies to those who were friends with her.
I don't know if I know you. I only know one person who has sunshine in her user name and I'm pretty sure you're not the same person. Anyhoo. Welcome and here's to a fresh start, if you want to call it that :)
As to LL - She hasn't been around in ages. I don't know if she's just really busy with life or has forgotten about the board. Or, maybe she checks in and reads but doesn't post. Hopefully, she'll be back someday.
